Tuesday, March 24, 2009

you're the one. you're the one I love....

I'll be honest with you, I don't even care about food anymore. I've had under 265 Kcals today without even trying. I worked another 12 hours, and came home to eat my "rations" only to discover that I really am not hungry, and cannot hold much.

I smell pizzas and hamburgers and other things such as beef stew and really don't absorb them as foods. I have wild cravings, but am so far removed from proper meal eating that the cravings come and go as the sun.

It's a position of power over food that comes when one is truly afflicted. I can speak from experience. I went through the mill with this beast years ago. Basically, I am at the point where it is easy. Eating would be difficult. That is when the disorder becomes the lifestyle, and body and head congress with each other in a dance of danger and darkness.

People at work are calling me skinny minny, even though I have so much more weight to lose. I admit I am losing my curves, especially from the side. No real breasts, no tummy unless I've eaten, and slight shoulders compared to the me my recent life-folk know.

Regards,
Me

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