I am not ok today. Even the rations my disorder allows me to have were difficult to put back over the weekend. I often would dump half of the coffees or vegetables as I ate them. I just couldn't eat. I have this fear of anything being inside of me right now. It's not even rational.
I am losing weight. I am losing weight rapidly enough that even in my overweight state, people are commenting that it is "ridiculous" or "crazy."
But my disorder wants me running on fumes.
Today is difficult. Working is really painful from every cell. My shoulders are tired. My legs are tired. My brain and soul are tired.
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