we're just too far away

This is an entry in which I feel I shall come clean.

All control was lost, and has yet to be regained. I've taken to writing hellacious messages in permanent ink on my thighs, so that I may read them when I eliminate all the terrible things I consume. Seemingly overnight (actually nearly 2 months at this point) I gained 20 pounds. I am up a pants size, and teetering closely on another.

I am miserable. My stomach is outstretched, I am retaining water, I make frequent trips to the lavatory, my teeth and throat burn from the binges.

I do not feel human.

I certainly do not feel like me.

And I am bloody well going to stop this.